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How The Grinch Stole Sex-Mass!
Every Ho
Down in Ho-ville
Liked Sex-Mass a lot…
But the Grinch,
Who lived just north of Ho-ville,
Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Sex-Mass! The whole Sex-Mass season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be he’d never been screwed quite just right.
It could be, perhaps, his Dr Scholl’s were too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all
May have been that his cock was two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his Scholl’s,
He stood there on Sex-Mass Eve, hating the Hos,
Staring down from his church with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the hot foggy windows below in their town.
For every Ho down in Ho-ville, he’d bet,
Was busy now, giving or getting some head.
“All those damn fishnet stockings!” he snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow is Sex-Mass! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop Sex-Mass from coming!”
For,
Tomorrow, he knew…
…All the Ho girls and boys
Would wake bright and early. They’d rush for sextoys!
And then! Oh, the noise! All the moans and the noise!
That’s the one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Hos, young and old, would enjoy quite a feast.
And like beasts lost in heat,
They would FEAST!
FEAST!
FEAST!
FEAST!
They would feast on each other; anyone within reach
Which was something the Grinch couldn’t stand in the least!
And THEN
They’d do something
He liked least of all!
Every Ho down in Ho-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with all these Sex-Mass doings.
They’d stand there butt naked. And the Hos would start screwing!
They’d screw! And they’d screw!
AND they’d SCREW! SCREW! SCREW! SCREW!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Ho-Sex-Mass-Screw,
The more the Grinch thought, “But what could I do?
“Why, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now!
“I MUST stop Sex-Mass from coming!
…But HOW?”
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Grinch laughed as in jest.
And he made up a quick leather thong and a vest!
And he chuckled, and clucked, “Oh, of all the great tricks!
“With this leather in place, I’m a Dominatrix!”
“All I need is a sex slave…”
The Grinch looked around.
But, since sex slaves are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch…?
No! The Grinch simply said,
“If I can’t find a sex slave, I’ll make one instead!”
So he called his dog, Max. Then he took a red leash
And he bound it to Max somewhere warm down beneath.
THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh
And he hitched up old Max.
Then the Grinch said, “Giddap!”
And the sleigh started well
Towards the homes where the Hos
Were abusing themselves.
All their windows were dark, but the soft moaning din
Said the Hos were already at their Sex-Mass sins
When he came to the first house, intent to break in.
“This is stop number one,” the old Grinchy Dom hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. Would he be found out?
All the Hos were below in their dungeons, no doubt,
Playing rough with their whips, or their cat o’ nine tails,
(And listening, of course, to some nice Nine Inch Nails).
He found heaps of Ho sextoys all hung in a row.
“These playthings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and took everything present!
Handcuffs! Lingerie! Satiny Pillows!
Quadruple four-headed vibrating dildos!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimbley!
Then he slunk to the next room. He took leather masks!
He took feather ticklers! And hot candlewax!
He cleaned out that Ho-house as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch stole their videos of naked Ho ass!
Then he stuffed everything up the chimney with glee.
“But wait!” said the Grinch, “What’s happening to me?”
For the Grinch grabbed his thong, and he felt things adjust,
Then he heard a small sound like a purr; wanton lust.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Ho!
Little Cindy-Lou Ho, who was not more than…twenty-two.
The Grinch had been caught by this sexy Ho babe
Who’d got out of bed to watch a nice porno tape.
She was a Sub so she said to him, “Master?
“Why are you taking our sextoys, you bastard?”
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie (and stopped stroking his prick)!
“Why, my hot little slut,” the fake Dom calmly stating,
“There’s much to be said for an-ti-ci-pating.
“So you can’t do yourself just quite yet now, my dear.
“Just wait for tomorrow. You’ll have new sextoys here.”
And his fib fooled the girl. Then he patted her head
And he spanked her tight ass and he sent her to bed.
And when Cindy-Lou Ho went to bed with legs spread,
HE found himself dreaming of getting some head!
He peeked at her queefe
And his loins were on fire!
Then he slunk up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On the walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of smut
That he left there at all
Was a homemade tape starring some Ho and his dog.
Then
He did the same thing
To the others’ locations
Leaving nothing
At all
Which would cause masturbation!
It was quarter past dawn…
All the Hos, still a-bed,
All the Hos, still a-glow
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their leather! The dildos! The wrappings!
The blindfolds! The handcuffs! Nipple-clamps! Nose rings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
“Pooh-Pooh to the Hos!” he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
“They’re finding out now that no Sex-Mass is coming!
“They’re just coming up! I know just what’s they’ll do!
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
“Then the Hos down in Ho-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch,
“For which I have longed!”
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand in his thong.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow…
But the sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sounded orgasmic!
It couldn’t be so!
But is WAS! ECSTATIC!
He stared down at Ho-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Ho down in Ho-ville, the tall and the small,
Was screwing! Without any sextoys at all!
He HADN’T stopped Sex-Mass from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?
“It came without leather! It came without whips!
“It came without stirrups, or clitoral clips!”
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Sex-Mass,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.
“Maybe Sex-Mass…perhaps…means just being a whore!”
And what happened then…?
Well…in Ho-ville they say
That the Grinch’s small cock
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his thong starting feeling too tight,
He jizzed all his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys! And the whole porno stash!
And then…
…ALL THOSE HOS…
Kicked his old fucking ass!
The End
Harry Potter - Christmastime Shenanigans!
Seasonal snippets from all seven books. Happy Holidays, everyone!
Part of my Harry Potter Animations Series! :D
